My New Year's Resolution

I really don't have a NY Reso. Don't really care to have one to be honest. Everything's so cliche'. "I want to lose weight." Guess what.. you're not going to, you fat ass. Get over it. "I want to stop smoking." Guess what.. you're not going to, chimney neck. Get over it. Blah, blah, blah. If I could come up with something unique, I *may* make a resolution. OOOOOH! Maybe my resolution should be to stop playing with my nose ring to make myself sneeze. You know how people with tongue bars flip those things around like it's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle weapon in their mouth? Well, I twist my nose ring often to a point where I can literally make myself sneeze over and over. My record is 11 times in a row.

Let's break this down. 1. I'm 30 and have a nose ring. I should grow up and get rid of it, but NO! I don't want to!! 2. There is no reason to twist it after it's healing period has passed. I have had it well past the healing period, so why do I continually twist? OCD. 3. Why do I have an obsession with sneezing? I don't know, I have always loved to sneeze. It's the one bodily function that is not annoying like a dry, barking cough or stinky and just plain embarrassing. Plus, if you have an enemy in close range and you feel a sneeze coming on, you could accidentally not cover your sneeze and Wham-o! They have your virus-y covered snot droplets hurling at them at an obscene rate of speed. The enemy is more than likely too slow to react. Therefore, a sneeze is a good first line of defense to attack your arch nemesis. 4. Why do I know what my record is for the most sneezes at one time? I don't really know. I'm not THAT lame. Give me some credit.

on the other hand, maybe I don't deserve any credit...

This year, I decided to write an online daily journal to post all the little things that happened during my day. Not because I lead a super exciting life, though. Quite the opposite, actually. My life is SO boring, I can never remember anything that happens unless it was something CRAZY significant and that one overly significant event tunes out every other thing that happened for the entire year. I am going to be realistic and say I am only 23% sure that I will keep up this journal everyday for a month, let alone a full year. I forget things too often. Do you ever forget on your drive into work that you forgot to put on deodorant or brush your teeth? No? Well, I do. I have to make pit stops at gas stations or Walgreens to buy travel kits of everything for back up just in case I forget to do something that every other person just naturally does everyday. My brain does not function that way. I need to remind myself to eat and even drink! I can go a whole day without drinking anything. Enough about my brain and it's issues, already. I basically wanted to let y'all know, a daily journal (or a sentence if we are being completely honest) will be now attached to this here blog. Enjoy kids. Have a good New Year, bitches.